Hipster is the New Yuppie

Wow. I can write in pink now. Cool. Okay, today's topic has to do with Hipsters. It's come up a couple times in conversations recently with everyone denying being a hipster but pointing out someone who is. I got to thinking... what if Hipster was the new Yuppie. Back in the gloriously-greedy 80's, we all knew who the yuppies were, but you never heard anybody refer to themselves as a yuppie. Hipster, like yuppie, is a slur. It's said sneeringly. With contempt. So imagine my shock when a friend casually called me a Hipster which, of course, I vehemently denied. Ok, yes, I work at Urban Outfitters, but we all know that place is full of wannabe Hipsters which is so much worse. Anyway, I've made a list of why I'm not a Hipster just so there's no confusion.

1. I don't read 'zines.
2. I don't drink Red Bull or Rip It.
3. I don't wear skinny jeans or Chucks.
4. I'm not on MySpace.
5. I'm not an acolyte of Bukowski, Palahniuk or Vonnegut.
6. I don't have any tattoos.
7. Or piercings.
8. Or have an ironic new-wave haircut.
9. I don't shop at American Apparel.
10. I don't really like the White Stripes.

Hope that clears things up.